“When I get sad, I stop being sad and become awesome instead”. The catch phrase of Barney Stinson from HIMYM is simple yet so hard to bring into practice. Well! Its an amazing way of looking at a powerful emotion - Sadness. Its one of those emotions when the sun shines but dimly, evenings become dull. The blanket and pillow look like best friends to you. The reasons for sadness can be numerous. It can be due to loss, failure, broken dreams or hearts, death or an F in a test. So its just another emotion. Its a way of perceiving the present according to our good sense of judgment.
The question here that crosses my mind is why are people scared of sadness? This question is due to two reasons. One, I’ve observed that people when sad seem to be escaping it in various ways. Two, everyone around feels responsible for that sadness and try really hard to make us feel other emotions like happiness, love, concern, empathy.
So, I wonder why do we not like sadness like other equally strong emotions? I guess it’s because of the friends it comes with. When people find sadness sleeping next to them, they also make room for pessimism, frustration, hopelessness, low self-esteem etc. Trust me nobody wants to have such literally “depressing” company. So, to feel better, people take out that wine they were saving for the holidays, and buy that t-shirt that says, " It's 5 pm Somewhere.". Also follows a chain of smoke from that long forgotten pack of cigarettes from the drawer.
In the process of escaping sadness, hence, we indulge in momentary “happiness” or simply a high. While discussing movies a friend once commented that it wasn’t really a heartbreak that killed “Devdas”. It was his addiction to alcohol which proved fatal for that poor guy. I say, when we look for escapes we end up in the same dump in spite of walking for miles.
So what I’ve learnt in this SAD phase of life is that don’t fear it. Don’t try to escape it. Rather face it with a broad grin and sit with it over coffee. Talk with your sadness. Bathe in your sadness. Know your ability to look into its eyes and empathize with it. Its magical when slowly that sadness starts packing its suitcase. Sometimes its trousers goes in, next day its favorite suit that you loved so much. It just won’t feel at home anymore. A day will come when you will sit on your bed and you will be alone. You’ll find a note by the bed from your friend saying:
“I’ll miss you. I’m sure you will remember me as a good part of your life. A part full of learning. P.S. Cherish me.”
You will smile and sleep the warmest sleep ever.
This I am writing for people whom I can call at odd hours and who patiently listen to me. For people who call me from miles away and ask me to stop writing sad stuff. It’s also for people who had similar experiences and who ask me to patiently absorb all that is happening.
I take it as a sign. I think sadness has started packing its bag. It will be out soon.
The sun is shining brighter as usual and evenings are beautiful too. I changed my pillow cover and I sleep on my terrace these days under the sunshine without a quilt,
soaking up the sun of today and reveling at the amazing journey that life is.